How to Deal with Stress

Kiana Williams | Staff Writer

 

Courtesy of intrinsicbrilliance.com.au

Courtesy of intrinsicbrilliance.com.au

When I was in fourth grade, I threw myself down a flight of stairs to avoid taking a geography test. About a split second after I jumped, I realized that I had made a terrible, terrible decision; I hit the first step with a loud thud and tumbled the rest of the way down, collecting dirt as I rolled like a human broom. When I finally reached the feet of the stairs, several students and teachers rushed to me and tried to help me to my feet. As I rose, I felt a deep shame wash over my body, but I still couldn’t help but think: It was worth it. Continue reading

HAMLET: The Fresh Prince of Denmark.

Kiana Williams | Staff Writer

Courtesy of meighan.edublogs.org

Courtesy of meighan.edublogs.org

Here at The Century Times, we are dedicated to preserving the memory of great literary works of the past. We recognize, however, that in this busy world that we live in, it can be hard to find the time to actually sit down and read them. That is why we have taken it upon ourselves to write classy, sophisticated modern day retellings of the classics for your enjoyment. We begin this thrilling journey with Shakespeare’s most famous play, Hamlet.

   Youre welcome. Continue reading

We’re Not THAT Creepy.

Sophia Yunk | Staff Writer

npr.org

npr.org

When you tell your friends that you are a writer for your college newspaper, some of them may think that you are a shut-in whose dream is to become a world-famous author. Well, the friends who are of the sane-minded part of society will think this, at least. The only problem with their mindset is that the latter of the two situations, is only partially true.

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Trepidations

Jonathan Pressley | Staff Writer

ugacareercenter.wordpress.com

ugacareercenter.wordpress.com

For many, excitement is reigning high as the end of the semester quickly approaches dragging along with it graduation for those who have completed their course here at Century. For others, the title of this piece better suits their emotional state. Why? While many reasons where cited in an extensive poll, one reason stood out above all others – “I’m not sure I can handle the real world.”

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It’s a Hard Life

Sophia Yunk | Staff Writer

Come_In_01_lr

Image courtesy of jesswilson1984.blogspot.com

“Look at the head on that! I hope you enjoy it,” I say smirking. It might be a little flirtatious but I know the guy likes it. If I keep it up, I know he’ll probably give me more money at the end.

Every day it’s like this. Trying to feel out the people I’m with to get more money. All day long I can hear the girls nag.

“After I clean up the pig’s mess HE made, the guy only gave me an extra $10. That was a $200 total! I did EVERYTHING for him and his friends,” Trixie will usually complain.

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A Poor Person’s Gift Guide to V-Day

Rachel Billstrom | Staff Writer

Image courtesy of wineoh.tv

Image courtesy of wineoh.tv

It’s Valentine’s Day again, and everyone who’s anyone is rushing to get their special someone a meaningful gift, because nothing says “I love you” more than processed candy and stuffed animals. Times are tough though, and we may be finding our wallets are a bit slimmer than we normally would hope for. Thankfully, I’ve compiled a list just for you to be able to get your partner not only a sensational present, but all on an affordable budget. So if you’re finding yourself having a hard time choosing between some pointless balloons, and eating for the week, look no further! These will surely leave your loved one swooning, everybody else envious, and you relaxing having survived another year of this ridiculous holiday:

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Living Dead Found to be Enrolled at Century

Jonathan Pressley | Staff Writer

Image courtesy of forgeonahead.wordpress.com

The Century Times has reported on numerous occasions about the immense and diverse population at Century College. Instructors range from the traditionally educated, to active authors, to an unconfirmed janitor from Harvard. Our student population is perhaps even more diverse: International students were featured in a recent article, as was a potential Olympian boxer. Century’s students represent every demographic, numerous races, and have now been officially recognized as containing an entity long mystified by literature and Hollywood – the living dead.

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Black Panties: Devoid of Panties

Joshua Mahan | Staff Writer

Image courtesy of hiphop-n-more.com

Image courtesy of hiphop-n-more.com

R. Kelly is at it again. The famous R&B singer, well known for his thoughtful work on songs like “Feeling On Yo Booty”, “Down Low (Nobody has to Know)”, and his contributions on The Space Jam Soundtrack, announced in a recent interview with Fruit of the Loom Magazine that his forthcoming album, Black Panties, will be devoid of any sexual content whatsoever.

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Happy Non-denominational Winter Extravaganza!

Image courtesy of freechristmaswallpapers.net

Image courtesy of freechristmaswallpapers.net

Kiana Williams | Staff Writer

The most wonderful time of the year has arrived once more! The time when snowflakes dance down to earth, coating the world in its pearlescent blanket; the time when families flock together, basking in the warm glow of each other’s company; the time when your annoying neighbor Chelsea stops making dumb fall-related jokes (“Time to pumpkin spice up my life!”) because she went home to visit her parents.

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Passion of the Turkey

Jennifer Billstrom | Staff Writer

Image courtesy of postgradproblems.com

Image courtesy of postgradproblems.com

Thanksgiving: A day to give thanks for all of life’s blessings, a day to spend time with ones we hold dear, and whether a sports fanatic or out of tradition, a day to watch a bunch of sweaty, middle-aged men play catch with a ball made out of pigskin; but for The Century Times’ Editor-In-Chief Matt Hoemke, it’s a day about one thing and one thing only: turkey.

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